Life gave me silly partners

Family.........dammit. Can't live with em, can't kill em. Is that true though? Can we really not kill them? Seriously. No one gets to pick their family members. You are born onto this planet, bound by blood to a certain group of people. But what if some or all of that group totally sucks? Why this guilty attachment that most of us feel? Even when our relatives are the biggest douche bags around people say, "Well they are family. We just have to accept them for who they are". Fuck that.

Got a drunk nephew who stays in jail and shames your family? Kill him.

Have a 14 year old, disrespectful daughter that constantly claims her hatred for you? And now she's knocked up? Kill her.

Have a parent that could give two shits about your accomplishments in life, never attended your athletic events or graduation, and did jack shit to help you when you broke your arm? Kill them

Have a family member that you feel obligated to help, even though they refuse the help themselves? (Shit dude can I borrow twenty bucks for gas, my truck run out. Even though I am healthy and fully capable of work I refuse to get a job and support myself. I would rather ask you for shit.) Kill them

Have a family member that bitches about the way relatives act, yet said family member is the worst offender? Kill them

Now, when I say kill your shitty family members is that a metaphor? No. It isn't. I actually think you should commit murder, based on my sound advice. However, if you choose to take my advice as a metaphor and avoid prison, I understand. If that is the case, remove the crap friends and relatives from your life. There is absolutely no reason to feel like you are obligated to care for shit heads, just because you have a similar DNA strand. A lot of people will not agree with me and they will stick to the archaic thinking that family is a bond that cannot be broken. This doesn't work for me.

If you are a true friend or a kind, caring, compassionate family member, you have my undying love. If you do not fall into the above category; if your selfishness runs your life; if you refuse to put any effort into relationships; or if you are generally an asshole in any other aspect, then you are not deserving of my attention or respect and shall thereby cease to exist as far as I'm concerned. One can only give so much.

P.S. Please do not mention my name if you decide to take someones life. I do not require any recognition, but just so you know, I will be proud in secret.

P.S.S To any family members reading this, I love you ;)