The Holiday thing

I have to go do the Holiday thing today. I'm trying to be positive about it but that bit of reality in the back of my mind knows it's totally going to suck. Time to take the kids to see Santa Claus. They will enjoy it and we will get good pictures so that itself makes it worth it. On the other hand, the line is going to be really long and they are going to charge way too much for photos with Santa, just because they can. Isn't that a bummer?

Then it will be time to move on to shopping for family members. Shopping with my entire family in tow is the equivalent of being forced to sit and watch a torture video. First I kind of want to throw up, then I want to tear my own eyes out, then I kind of get used to it in a way and just become dead inside. That's how much I hate shopping with my family. It's bad enough when I'm just with the wife. Add in the kids and going to Target just became Hell on Earth. Don't even get me started on Wal-Mart.......... I'd rather slice my gums.

After getting robbed by elves at the mall and then getting my soul sucked out at some department store we will most likely get something to eat. I will get a slight break from the chaos at the restaurant and it won't be because my family is finally letting me relax. No my break will come in the form of me completely tuning them out and ordering drinks as fast as humanly possible. Once I achieve a reasonable buzz I will then re-engage contact with my family, safe inside my glossy eyeballs.

Finally, off to get a Christmas tree on the way home. By the time we get there I will have sobered up enough to almost drive legally. Good thing I always use my turn signals. The kids will run around looking at all of the trees and the wife will be taking pictures of them in various poses. I will wander around aimlessly wondering where I went wrong in life. Finally a decision will be made and I'll tip the tree guy to tie it onto my truck so I can do the least amount of work possible. Time to head home. What a wonderful day..........

Merry Christmas!!! Just kidding!!

Actually I'm not kidding. This is 100% what my day will be like today.