The Army Dentist

Well it's been a good while since I have written anything on here. I have been busy and I basically haven't felt like writing anything. My desire to create comes and goes and uses different outlets at times. One day I will write a poem, another day I will play music, and yet another day I might pick up a pen and paper and draw. Now, don't get the wrong idea, I am not some type of artistic genius. I am fairly mediocre at all of these artistic abilities, and in some situations, outright bad. Regardless of my talent, I enjoy them. I enjoy creation. Maybe I should have been born a God.

Anyways, I am here today to talk about Army dentists. I have had horrible experiences with these people since day one. First off, I hate the dentist, they torture people. Second, I try to take care of my teeth properly but it seems as though I can't avoid problems, at times I live in the dentist's office. Third, I have recently experienced the worst of my dental problems so far and I have a suspicion that the dentist made things much worse than they should have been. Here is what happened in a nutshell, without horrible boring details:

Felt fine
Amber on MEDPROS(time for a check up)
Dentist says "you need this, this, and this done"
I say "OK, whatever you say boss"
I go get some fillings done and some old ones replaced
Dentist says "you need a root canal because this cavity is almost touching the nerve"
I say "whatever you say boss"
Get the first half of my root canal done
Tooth hurts like a mother fucker
Go to get the second half of root canal
Dentist says "your shit is fucked up son! Take pills for a week to get rid of infections"
I say "whatever you say boss"

I go home and start inspecting the crap out of my mouth. I look here, probe there, poke the dangle thing in the back of my throat, and then I find something. One of my teeth hurts like crazy.......only problem is......it's not my root canal tooth.........it's the one right next to it. Now I am left perplexed and hulk style angry. Both of those teeth recently got "bad 'ol nasty fillings" replaced at my first visit. Those old fillings felt fine in my mouth. Now I am in the middle of a root canal procedure and I realize one of about three things:

Situation A: My teeth are fucked and pretty soon I'm gonna have a wooden George Washington grill because my real teeth are about as strong as a teenagers will against peer pressure.

Situation B: Those two back teeth just had the bad luck to be that screwed up at the same time and after I fix them everything will be fine and we can all go back to eating shit that is bad for us again.

Situation C: This situation is rated R: I JUST GOT ROYALLY FUCKED BY THE ARMY'S DENTIST PROGRAM AND NOT ONLY DID THEY FUCK UP SOME SHIT THAT WAS FINE BEFORE BUT THEN THEY HAD THE GODDAMN GREAT IDEA TO GIVE ME A MOTHERFUCKING ROOT CANAL ON THE WRONG MOTHERFUCKING TOOTH AND NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET ANOTHER ONE TO FIX THE ACTUAL TOOTH THAT HAD THE FUCKED UP, SHIT EATING PROBLEM IN THE FIRST PLACE(insert a ridiculous amount of exclamation points)

So, there is my dilemma. I am not the only one though. Many people will tell you how sarcastically terrific the Army dentist's are. I am just one of many. You wanna know what the real kick in the nuts is though? Smack dab in the middle of this, about 4 days ago, I had a vasectomy. So on top of toothaches and nightmares of people missing teeth, my balls hurt like crazy. Have a nice day everyone and be happy. Just think, you could be me.