Dark pleasures

I have always been attracted to the darker side of things. Dimented horror movies at night and heavy metal by day. With the off key melodies of slayer ripping through my head, and dreams of bringing a chainsaw to work to deal with all of those pesky co-workers, I hold horror very near and dear.

There was a time in my younger life when I went to the video store to pick out a VHS tape to bring home. As I wandered through the aisles, I found myself in familiar territory. In between Action and Sci-Fi......HORROR. I love it. Familiar and blessed titles crossed my vision. Friday the 13th, Halloween, and A Nightmare on Elm Street. This is where I belonged. Enough day dreaming though. No more nostalgia. Get back on top of the mission. Find a movie to watch tonight with your eight year old brother. Hhhmmmmmm...... decisions decisions.....this one with the clown looks really ridiculous, in a good way. Let's rent it Mom! It's just a clown, it can't be that bad. That night me and my younger brother went home and watched IT. I have never looked at clowns, balloons, paper boats, or street drainage the same since. Down here they all float.

Nights like this frequented my childhood and I was hooked from the beginning. I still am, although I find myself less able to indulge, having two young kids and a wife that doesn't care for the genre.......her loss. However, I am often disappointed these days and I find myself missing the terrifying days of my childhood. There are so many bad horror movies these days. I don't mean bad in the good way either. Sometimes a horror movie can be absolutely terrible and awesome at the same time. If your like me you know what I'm talking about. That's not what I'm talking about here though. Much of today's horror is just plain shitty. Everyone is focused on shock horror, they try and just make things overly gross and graphic to creep people out. The Human Centipede is a perfect example of this. I recently watched this piece of trash, not expecting anything too great, but hoping for at least some entertainment. I was sorely disappointed. It was really really retarded and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. That is cheap and worthless horror. The other thing that I can't stand is the overworking of a series. The first saw was good. I mean really good. Saw was a gem, super original and really crazy. After a few more movies in the series though it just got completely stupid and really ruined the status of the first film that scared the shit out of audiences.

We still get to see the occasional great horror film, but unfortunately, they are rare these days. It's OK though. If ever you lose hope, you can always stick with what works. These films will always be there for us. Watching them can sometimes put me right back into my shoes as a ten year old, watching someone get butchered, hoping that my parents don't walk in and freak out about what me and my brother are watching.

I will always be thankful to these pieces of American culture for giving me nightmares. I credit these films with ruining my innocence as a child, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Every time I chop wood, cut down a tree, sharpen a knife, grab something out of the garbage disposal, load my shotgun, or grab my hammer from my toolbox, my minds eye sees blood sprayed across the wall, entrails on the floor, and bits of bone on my shoes. When someone upsets me I instantly think about murder. I don't think about beating anyone up, cursing anyone out, or getting the best of someone. I think about chopping mother fucking heads off!! I am corrupted, disgusting, and possibly evil. I love it, and I owe it all to you!!! If your reading this (which no one probably is) then do yourself a favor. Go home tonight and watch something crazy. Let a physco on TV relieve you of some of your stress. And remember kids, you can't spell Slaughter without Laughter! Have a nice day you fucking turds.